#Obsessive Sneaker Disorder

[chaptersleftunwritten]

Beauty is a beast that roars

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Blurb: You quietly long for Eddie’s attention, and when things with Chrissy start to look serious you resort to desperate attempts for him to look at you the way he looks at her.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Chrissy Cunningham x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, hurt (no comfort), Eddie is kinda a dick, obsession, hurtful notes being passed, mentions of bulimia/eating disorder, mild stalking, low talk about self image, societal pressure to look a certain way, mental health struggles, characters are 20+ and in a college setting!

-

divider by @reveriesources

It started as a slow burn inside of your chest. You blamed it on the stress of finals but the more you saw them together, the more that burn worsened into a blaze; scorching your heart and tarring it black.

You didn’t think it possible to be obsessed with someone that you didn’t love- but you worshipped the very ground that Chrissy Cunningham walked on. At times, you thought she was able to read your mind. The way she effortlessly flicks her natural glowing golden hair over her shoulder as she laughs, looking like she was sculpted by Aphrodite herself- or how she presses her perfect rosy lips in peppery and sweet kisses to Eddie’s cheek. She had him wrapped around her skilful fingers. You couldn’t stand it.

It twisted your insides into a rope like knot- so tight and big and uncomfortable. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t think straight when you looked at her. At them. Your brain harbouring thoughts of envy, rotting from the inside out with lightless horrid concepts.

You couldn’t help but follow study Chrissy. Her signature blue eyeshadow that adorns her gorgeous blue eyes, her tiny upturned nose, her well proportioned features- her body. You had never repeated this information to anyone before, not even Eddie, because not only would it expose your research into Chrissy, but because you definitely weren’t ever supposed to find out.

You had walked in on her one day in the bathroom. She was hunched over in a stall, her white sneakers peeking out from beneath the cubicle door. She was vomiting. Harshly.

At first you thought she may just be sick, and she was, but it was a different conversation. You entertained that thought until you walked in a second and third time to her in the exact same position- her fatigued body draped over the toilet bowl. You understood how she maintained her physique. It broke your heart; momentarily.

What broke your heart more was that Eddie evidentially had no idea. You knew, deep down, Chrissy was just like you. A sad, broken girl. But she was better at hiding it. The Duchess of disguise. The Queen of your psyche. Your admiration of her was unhealthy, you knew that much. You just couldn’t stop. You needed Eddie to look at you the way he looks at her.

So you cut your hair into a fringe, and you change your clothes. You find your own signature colour of eyeshadow and you even purchase a few skater skirts. Sports had never really interested you until now; now you were trying out for the cheerleading team. And with being Chrissy’s friend- of course she gave you direct entry.

Because despite her beauty, Chrissy was also kind. Which made the knot in your stomach grow firmer, imbedding itself within you permanently.

-

“Hey, Eddie!” You make sure your voice is dripping with the sweetest form of honey as you bat your mascara thick eyelashes at him. He glances at you from his magazine, quirking a brow at your chirpy energy.

“Hello… What’s up?” He asks, his words clipped as his eyes focus back on the flimsy book he holds sturdily in his hands. God… his hands. The rings that compliment his slender fingers and the bracelets that dress his wrist. You couldn’t get enough of it- of him.

It was impossible for you to hold his attention for more than a few seconds, and you had bound into the library full of hope and partial confidence today. You had pieced together one of your best outfit. A denim jacket draped over your shoulders, a white tank top (with no bra) and a cute skirt in your favourite colour which also matched your eyeshadow. Your hair was in a voluminous pony tail, held up by a great big scrunchie and your eyes were bright with popping colour. Your cheeks were dusted with blush and your nails painted perfectly; with the help of your mother.

You couldn’t think of a reason why Eddie wouldn’t look at you. You looked totally bitchin’!

“Uhm…” you stutter, your small confidence wavering at his lack of interest, “We haven’t really hung out in a while… I thought maybe we could? If you like!” There is a festering in the pit of your stomach, a panic that grows with every anticipating second, “We don’t really hang out anymore... just us, I mean.” You add, hoping further context will make you sound a little less desperate.

You and Eddie used to hang out every day. Sometimes alone, sometimes with the whole group. But lately… things have changed. And you know the reason why.

Eddie acknowledged you with a hum, finally placing his magazine down and narrowing in on your appearance. You thought you wanted him to look at you, but the intense confusion on his face made you long for the earth to gape open beneath you and swallow you whole.

“Looks like ya did a deep dive through Chrissy’s wardrobe.” His chuckle makes your ears heat and your face flush as his fingertips pluck at the sheer scrunchie wrapped in your hair. You can’t tell if he is joking or not— but to you, it’s a compliment nonetheless.

After a moment of pause and total excitement you gather your composure quickly and cough a meek reply, “I’m trying something new.”

You’re trying to be someone new.

“Hmm,” He examines you further, “I dunno,” Eddie scratches at his chin, his once soft and playful features now express something more distasteful, “I personally prefer your old style— this seems… out of character.” There was a lilt to his deep voice, which made him sound interrogative.

“You.. you do?” You curse inwardly at the stutter in your airy voice. To say his words shocked you was an understatement. They had your jaw hanging loose and your eyes opened broadly. Had you gotten it all wrong? Were you really just as pretty before all of this? Or was he teasing you… was he trying to make you feel better? Was this his attempt at telling you that you look like an utter clown in comparison to Chrissy?

You’d never know… because you would never ever ask him such things.

You think back to a note that got passed to you in class not too long ago- you weren’t sure of the culprit (you suspected Jason) — it read along the lines of,

‘Apply all the makeup you want, but at the end of the day it’s just lipstick on a pig.’

Were you a pig? Was this all just a feeble and comical attempt at beauty? To be desired. To be wanted. It’s all you longed for. It’s all you dreamed of.

You wanted Eddie to see you. To want you. And at this rate, you were losing all hope.

“Yeah,” alongside a small laugh he also flashes you a toothy smile, a mocking smile— and you clamp your jaw closed to stop yourself from shaking out a sob, “Listen, you’re free to chill here with me if you want but— hey!”

You couldn’t take it. The embarrassment. The knife twisting in your chest and puncturing your heart. You flee from the table abruptly before Eddie even has a chance to say anything more to you.

What was wrong with you? You wanted his attention, you wanted him alone and when you got it you despised the humorous way he gazed at you. You didn’t want to be entertaining or funny— you wanted to be loved.

Loved by him.

To please him.

To make him proud…

On exiting the library you pass Chrissy who was entering through the heavy fire doors, clearly she is on her way to meet Eddie. It was uncanny, almost like looking into a mirror.

The blonde spares you a small smile but not without a worried and intrigued glance at your attire before she is muttering a quick ‘Hello’ which you don’t even bother to return. You are too focused on your pursuit to the bathroom where you can hide yourself in an empty stall and cry without judgement. The only issue? You didn’t bring any makeup wipes for the mascara that has plagued your face in splotches and streaks of black tears.

Your eyes sting furiously and your bottom lip quivers outwith your control. It’s hard to believe that you have allowed yourself to stoop this low, crying shamelessly on campus in front of your peers. Their sympathetic eyes and taunting grins don’t go unnoticed by you as you finally make it to the bathroom, bursting into the void room like a bat out of Hell. Slamming the cubicle door closed and sitting on the toilet bowl where you start to question reality.

What are you doing?

You despise the fact that you know, no matter what, no matter how stupid you look- how ridiculous your clothes are and your sorry attempts at looking pretty, you would continue to do it. Even if people stared, gawked, whistled, laughed… you would continue on this descent into madness. The chase of perfection. The downward spiral of your mind had only just begun and you had a far distance yet to fall.

-

Whilst classes had finished for a long weekend and everyone was outdoors enjoying what was left of the sun before Fall crept its way in, you were sat in front of your bathroom mirror. 

Pulling, pinching, tweezing, twisting, sucking, shaving, grabbing and crying.

God, you couldn’t stop crying.

You couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t cry.

To you, winter was already here. You were chilled to the bone, hollow in your chest. Insides were sunken. You felt vacant of any joy.

“Honey!!” Your mother yells suddenly from the bottom of the staircase, her voice is cloud like and warm, “Someone is here to see you!” There is a mutter of something inaudible, “Chrissy!” She confirms snippily and your face drops heavily into a worried frown.

“I’m in the shower!!” You shriek back dishonestly and you are reminded that you have a heart as it shudders inside of your chest. You aren’t ready to see her— you don’t have a lick of makeup on, your hair isn’t done and you are still wrapped up in your bath towel. 

Your first thought is how do you get rid of her? How do you lie your way out of this?

You couldn’t.

“Okay, she’ll be waiting down here for you then…” Your mother’s voice dies out and you can hear her offering Chrissy something to drink and eat; which Chrissy declines.

You move around your bedroom agilely, hustling to get as presentable as you possibly could to face the girl waiting downstairs for you. It doesn’t quite register that Chrissy is sitting with your mother, chatting and possibly gossiping. All you care about is getting some makeup slapped on your face and some nice clothes hugging your body.

Your hair can be brushed, but you don’t have time to style it— that’ll have to come later. After multiple a few sprays of your favourite perfume that smells like vanilla and a tinge of cedar wood you feel ready enough to leave your sanctuary.

Nearly tripping over your entire wardrobe that covers your bedroom floor you fly toward the door handle, bracing yourself at the top of the staircase before you descend.

Time to meet your maker.

Your intense gaze flicks hurriedly between your mother and Chrissy as they both stand to meet you as you enter into the lounge room. Chrissy’s hair is twirled and curled to perfection and a short pink summer dress embraces her small frame. On her feet is a pair of red Mary Jane heels and you catch a peek at the silver jewellery strung around her neck and her wrists.

“Hi,” you say, feeling like it is the first breath you take since entering the room.

Chrissy bounds over to you, stringing her arms around your shoulders and pulling you in for a quick but sweet hug, “Hi!” She giggles in a sing song tone before pulling away, “You smell amazing by the way! You’ll have to let me know what that is later!” Her fingers linger on the exposed skin of your bicep and you cringe away from her touch.

“Thanks,” Your mother has long left the room and you walk a few paces away from Chrissy.

“We were heading to the movies, you wanna join? It’s meant to be such a warm night tonight!” To your disadvantage Chrissy follows behind you closely, closing the distance you were trying to create between the both of you, “The whole group will be there! Plus, it’s a thriller which I know you love.” She winks at you and you hate that you can feel your lips curving up into a minuscule smile.

“I dunno, Chris.” Your hand palms at the back of your neck, you feel hot with discomfort and to be quite frank all you want to do is lay in bed and mope.

“Please!” She clasps her hands together, inching closer to you— if that were even possible, “I’ll even buy your ticket!” Her pillowy bottom lip pouts out slightly, “I just wanna hang out with you, it’s been so long.”

And she was right. It had been a long time. You had been so swept up in this horrible pursuit of yours that you forgot you were actually friends with Chrissy. Long before you even knew of Eddie’s existence.

A defeated sigh leaves through your nostrils and you raise your shoulders to your ears, “Fine.” You smile, a smile that feels the most genuine it has in weeks.

Chrissy squeals with excitement, jumping up and down on the spot before taking your hand into hers. Interlocking your fingers so she can make sure you don’t make a run for it, “Let’s go, tiger!”

-

You all find your seats quickly, settling into them with your snacks and beverages. You partially regret not getting a drink but you decide that you’ll be able to soldier through. It’s what you do.

It was no surprise to you that Eddie was there too, but you couldn’t help but panic at the sight of him waiting for you and Chrissy to arrive at the theatre. His tatted arms crossed comfortably over his chest and a love filled smile teasing at his lips as Chrissy trotted over to him, practically jumping into his arms for a hug.

You fell behind them, ensuring you left as much distance as you possibly could. The sight of Eddie alone was enough to send you tumbling into a frenzy of inky feelings.

You could smell Eddie’s cheap cologne mixed with a hint of powerful weed and for a moment it clouds your senses. Taking hold of everything you knew— past, present, future. You couldn’t think about any of it, not with his scent engulfing your nostrils like second hand smoke.

Once the group had settled into the dimly lit theatre you sink into your seat behind Eddie and Chrissy, your shoulders slumping as you wish for the seat to turn into some sort of magical trap door that will transport you to another universe. But of course, you could never be so lucky.

The movie begins with a deafening introduction and you wince at the sound, your finger tips brushing over your ears gently to make sure that they hadn’t been blown off of the side of your head.

Steve occupies the seat next to you, and Robin is next to him with Vickie. You had grown to quite enjoy Vickie’s company. You loved how happy Robin got when she was in touchable reach… you pined for a connection like that.

Normally, you would be in your element as you watched a thriller movie, but something in front of you proved to be far more interesting.

Eddie and Chrissy were whispering sweet nothing into one another’s ear, Chrissy giggling and blushing at whatever it was that Eddie had said— probably something dirty and ridiculous.

And you could handle that. You could endure that.

But what you couldn’t take was watching as their tongues battled it out in a sloppy and erotic kiss. Chrissy had asked you to come and see this film— was it all a rouse just so she could show you who Eddie truly belongs too? So she could dismiss your attempts and break your heart further?

Unbeknownst to you, Steve had clocked the expression on your face. Tears glossing over your eyes, your front teeth gnawing on your bottom lip to try and contain whatever this was that you were feeling— but most importantly, he noticed the newfound stiffness in your body. He could feel you going rigid next to him.

“Hey, you okay?” His voice is low and kind and you should have paid more attention to his attentiveness but you don’t.

“I need to use the bathroom.” Is all you reply before lugging all of your stuff loosely and lazily into your arms and bolting for the theatre isle, but not without earning a few confused looks from Robin.

You bypass the restrooms, your eyes focused on the colossal glass doors which would separate you from Eddie and Chrissy officially.

The humid air hits your skin in an agonising envelop of warmth and you pull your sleeve over the palm of your hand to rub against your soaked cheeks.

Your chest feels heavy with every shaking intake of breath that you manage to pull into your lungs. You are heaving, gasping for air as you sob into the thick material of your sweater.

The sound of passing cars hits your ears and you slightly angle yourself away from the access road connecting the theatre to other public establishments. The images of Chrissy tongue down Eddie’s throat plays over and over in your mind— you don’t even know what the film was about because you were so hyper focused on them.

Your skin feels as though it doesn’t fit right over your skeleton and you grab at the material of your skirt, fisting the fabric as you try to ground your raging emotions.

You catch a whiff of theatre food and it causes bile to raise up the back of your throat, vomit threatening to project from your mouth.

People pass you by, their out of context conversations entering one of your ears and leaving the other. You felt so overstimulated— so riddled with anxiety that your brain hadn’t had space to even register Steve’s hand on your shoulder.

But when you do, you flinch away from him, taken aback by the horror stricken look on his soft features, “Hey… what’s going on?” His voice is low, a whisper as he tries to contain the situation between the two of you. Not wanting whatever this is to spill into the public.

You shake your head, your strong walls flagging up, “Nothing,” you dismiss him, “That movie was just… really scary..” you lie through your teeth and your watery eyes betray your words as tears continue to stream down your flushed skin.

“Bullshit.” He spits, his eyes turning to slits as he inches in closer to you, “Tell me what’s wrong right now.” His thick eyebrows have furrowed deeply on his forehead and you continue to deny him of any information.

“Steve— I’m fine! That movie was scary, I’m scared! That’s all… and.. and I needed some fresh air.” You shrug your shoulders, hoping that the messy headed man would leave it at that but he replies to your dishonesty with a discontent shake of his head.

“You’re fucking lying. Why are you lying to me?” He is so close to you now that you can feel his breath fanning onto your face, “We’re friends, right?” He cocks his head slightly to the right, his eyes becoming a bit more gentle, “Right?”

“Yes!” You respond instantly, “Of course we are friends-“

“Then tell me what’s going on! What is all of this about!” He gestures to your face, but his eyes scan across your body as well. He wants to know the whole truth, and you aren’t going to give it to him.

“I just told you!” You try not to yell, and thankfully your despair is doing a good job at strangling your voice, “I needed air—“ Steve cuts you off.

“Stop it. Stop it now.” He takes a hold of your arm, hurrying you away from the movie theatre entrance, “Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can help! I can help, okay? There’s nothing too big.” You stare into his honey suckle eyes, seeing your owe reflection staring back at you. It causes your stomach to flip with disgust.

“Why can’t you just let this go? I’m fine, Steve! I’m fucking fine! I just wanted air because I felt sick and you’re causing a scene!” You’re yelling now, your once sadness provoked tears turning to anger.

“I’m causing the scene? You’re the one lying to me and busting my balls! I just want to help you!” He takes a frustrated hand through his hair.

“I don’t need your help! I don’t need anyone, I’m fine on my own. I can take care of myself— you don’t get it! You’ll never get it, Harrington!” You jab at his chest, your body shaking with adrenaline.

“Harrington? Wow, okay. Something is definitely bothering you because you only ever call me that when you are really fucking pissed and I know I haven’t angered you this much so just tell me.” He circles you like a shark in murky water and you flee from him, needing some breathing space.

“Tell me!” He demands, charging after you.

You swing around to face him, your entire body feeling as though it’s going to combust.

“You wanna know, Steve? You really wanna fucking know?!” You march toward him, stopping a few paces away from his large frame.

“I’m in love with Eddie!” Your voice is an unattractive squeak, “Is that what you want to know, Steve? Are you fucking happy now?” You’re trembling now— a mix of rage, melancholy and dread.

“I am in love with someone who will never love me back. I… I have tried so hard to win him over.” You pluck at your t-shirt, scoffing at the silliness of it all, “I tried to change everything about me. I tried to be the one he would want but he doesn’t want me. He’ll never fucking want me, Steve.”

You wrap your arms around yourself, a form of defensiveness, “I’ll always be second best— no.” A moment of ugly realisation hits you, “I’m not even on his list. I’m not even a back up option to him. I’m a nobody. I can’t compete— I can’t compare.”

You’re a mess now. Smudged eyeliner. Smeared lipstick. You are a museum of failed art.

“I am in love with Eddie Munson and he doesn’t even know who I am.”

You try to lessen the blow of your own words with a tight lipped teary smile and a shrug of your shoulders… but whatever was left of your bruised heart was now torn to shreds. Unfixable. Unlovable.

“No one wants me.”

Through your distorted vision you hadn’t even noticed the tears pricking at Steve’s own eyes as he watched you fall to pieces in front of him.

Gently he brings you to lay flat against his chest, one of his hands rest tenderly against your hair whilst the other it draped over your shoulders.

He doesn’t say anything. He just holds you silently and allows you to sob into his broad chest— your makeup destroying his pristine white shirt.

A few moments of the embrace pass and that’s when you hear a muted voice from behind Steve’s large frame. A voice you had hoped to not hear— a voice that belonged to someone you had prayed would never ever hear you confess what you just had. A voice that was laced with what you could only pinpoint as malice and repulsion.

Eddie.

“What.. the fuck?”

And as Steve’s body tensed against yours, you blinked away the last of your tears and accepted your fate.

-

taglist: @colorful-white-ideas @littlered0000 @ali-r3n @daisy-munson @serenadingtigers

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/763022039299866624/im-convinced-that-all-the-girls-dating-rat-looking

I AGREE I AGREE GODDDD I AGREE SO BADLY

nevermind looks— i could personally fall for almost anyone’s looks because imo if i am attracted enough to a person, i in turn find their PHYSICAL self attractive too, even if it isn’t what i would immediately list as an “ideal” type

i hate when people say oh hes so cool, im attracted to him because of his taste in this and that and his cool music taste, film taste, and whatever. and just that. like what about kindness and gentleness and the way they speak to you or address your issues??

like once youre dating i think its okay to say oh i like my partner’s taste in x and y but to say that you’re fully and WHOLLY attracted to someone only because of that is insane to me. for your only measure of attractiveness in a person to be their taste and style is actually crazy.

i might never listen to classical music but i could 100% date someone who only listens to that provided that i like their character and personality and the way they treat me.

ive just been thinking alot recently about what i would actually want in a relationship and this also recently irritated me a little because of something my friend said so 😶😶

okay but also honest question, because i recently discovered this about myself. i realised something that is insanely important to me in a relationship is that my partner trusts me. which ofc sounds basic, but as someone who is psychic and always has premonition dreams/accurate gut feelings/blatant episodes of zoning out and seeing/hearing things that end up to be true, i need someone who won’t instantly dismiss my feelings about things like that. ive had an instance where i cancelled events 10 minutes before only for there to be a news headline a few hours later about a near fatal accident on the road i was about to take, or even just moving away from someone on the bus only to see the news THREE whole years later about the fact that that person was a certified pedo/molestor (this was when i was still underaged and in school)

i think even if my feelings seem wild at times or insane i need someone who would validate it because i would never bring it up unless unbelievably necessary. and even if nothing horrible happens i just need that faith in me yk? i may have an anxiety disorder but despite that, and even if my other person isnt spiritual or whatever i need them to just understand and just not do a certain things if i desperately bring it up

id never abuse that power but yk? i needed to ask if you felt the same way because i have no one else to talk to about this

- mother anon

GIRLLLL

the looks part and the taste part were two separate thoughts but i just felt like posting them together 🤐

i 100% agree that its possible to be attracted to just about anyone regardless of what they look like BUT i hate the current trend of girls obsessing over rat looking men

like ALL of these dudes are shady asf and known for being assholes. so its not like their personality is so exemplary that their looks are justified 💀💀

i genuinely 100% don't believe that relationships work unless both people are physically in the same "range" or one person is like a high average and the other person is absolutely stunning. i know i probably sound superficial asf BUT I PROMISE YALL, issues WILL creep up and eventually being mismatched WILL cause tension. no man will ever date someone beneath them but women always go for nasty rodent looking men bc they think those dudes will make more of an effort or appreciate them more 💀and these dudes are often WAYYY worse than the chad guy

now about style & taste:

i think its very middle school-y to be attracted to someone based on their fav band or sneaker collection or whatever tf ,,like i genuinely couldnt give less of a fck about that shit.

whenever i meet a guy, the FIRST thing i look for is how chivalrous he is.

and the girls who say they dont care about "chivalry" bc their independent girlbosses are missing out bc fun fact if ur man isn't taking care of u or being a gentleman, he DOES NOT GAF ABOUT U. if ur 2 buddies hanging out, he will treat u the way he treats his homies :/ so if u want to be toughened out like a pal, then u go sis

he better be opening every door, holding my bag/offering to, trying to make me feel comfortable in whatever way he can, giving me napkins, passing me things, paying the bill, bringing me flowers, just being very socially conscious (???) of having a woman around. i remember the first night my bf and i were hanging out, we went to get ice cream for me 🥺and it was past 1 am and he asked me if i wanted to stay there and have it or have it in the car

(for context: i live in india and night life is not much a thing here, this ice cream parlour was the only one open in the area and the crowd was entirely male and they were all staring at me)

and i said i'll have it in the car 🥺🥺like ive been on dates with men who dont pay attention to this kinda stuff. i get catcalled and they dont notice. someone gives me nasty looks and they do nothing. what made me like my now bf right away was how protective he was of me and i know that its how he would treat ANY woman in that situation.

i dont really share my spiritual/astro side with many people. most ppl close to me are aware of it to some extent but in different capacities. some ppl think its more of an intellectual interest bc ive studied buddhism, taoism etc practice yoga (practicing yoga is very common in India bc its literally an Indian thing) and ive never really sought acceptance or understanding of this sort from a romantic partner although 2/4 of my bfs have known that i do tarot and astrology etc

my current partner is an agnostic-atheist and he's spooked out by all the "witchiness" but at the same time, he's really excited about it and brags to people that he's dating a "witch" 😭😭😭🤣

i havent had experiences of the kind you're describing in recent memory but if it were to happen id like for my person to believe me and respect it 🥺

i think there is a cultural difference between us regarding this because what you've described as having visions or gut feelings or being intuitive is veryyyy culturally accepted in India and nobody will bat an eye about it. so its not as isolating or confusing as trying to explain to a bunch of westerners that you "have a bad feeling" regarding something.

[maj-araxie]

INFORMATION & STATISTICS FOR LADY MAJ ARAXIE

"My demons tried to drown me, but they didn't know I could breathe underwater" — Jordan Sarah Weatherhead

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Full Name: Lady Maj Sereia Araxie

Nickname(s)/Alias(es): Majpoj, Princess

Date of Birth: October 26th, 1996

Age: 28

Gender + Pronouns: Female, She/Her

Place of birth: Northknot, CA (Mermaid Kingdom)

Parents: Lord Kairos & Lady Nerida

Siblings: None

Relationship with family (close? estranged?): Pretty distant due to conflicting views

Pets: A cat named Stitch

PHYSICAL:

Height: 5′ 3″ (160 cm)

Build: Slender, Athletic with a Graceful frame

Species: Mermaid

Distinguishing Facial Features: Has a heart-shaped face with well-defined cheekbones, a broad, warm smile, a slightly rounded forehead and a soft jawline

Hair Color: Black

Usual Hair Style: Long, loose, natural curls

Eye Color: Brown

Complexion (freckles, acne, skin tone, birthmarks, scars): Warm, medium-brown tone with a natural, healthy glow

Disabilities (physical or mental, including mental illnesses): Anxiety, Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

What do they consider their best feature?: Her eyes; despite her often tired appearance, her eyes are expressive and reflect the depth of her emotions and thoughts. They’re windows to her soul

Worst they’ve ever been injured (what, how did it happen)?: The worst injury Maj has sustained was when she got into a car accident while distracted, searching for a lead on Edalyn's disappearance. She suffered a broken arm and several deep cuts from shattered glass, leaving her bedridden for weeks. The physical pain was manageable, but the emotional toll of being sidelined from her obsessive search was far worse

APPEARANCE:

Favorite outfit: A pair of comfortable, well-worn jeans paired with a loose-fitting, white button-down shirt paired with a cozy, oversized cardigan in a neutral color like grey or beige, and finish the look with simple slip-on shoes or Converse sneakers with maybe just a simple necklace or bracelet

Glasses? Contacts?: No

Personal Hygiene: She keeps herself clean

Tattoos? Piercings?: Ear piercings, nose ring; Small ocean inspired, short quotes and abstract art tattoos

What does their voice sound like?: Soft, with a slightly raspy undertone from her smoking habit. She speaks slowly, as if carefully choosing her words, and often trails off when lost in thought

Accent?: None

Unique mannerisms/physical habits: Her voice might crack a little when she's anxious or upset. She has a habit of biting her nails or twirling a strand of hair around her finger when she’s nervous. When deep in thought or writing, she might chew on the end of her pen

Left handed or right?: Left

Do they work out/exercise?: Not other than swimming

BELIEFS & INTELLECT:

Known Languages: English, a little French, Various Native Mermaid Languages & can speak to/understand aquatic animals

Zodiac: Scorpio

Gifts/talents: Outside of writing, Maj has a hidden talent for sketching. She often doodles in the margins of her notebooks, drawing intricate sea creatures, landscapes, and abstract designs. Her artistic skills are self-taught, and she uses them as a way to process her emotions

Religious stance: Agnostic; is open to the idea of something greater than herself but skeptical of organized religion

Political stance: Progressive

Pet peeves: Loud, sudden noises that startle her, people who interrupt her while she's deep in thought, and anyone who tries to tell her to "just relax" or "get over it." She also dislikes overly cheerful or optimistic people who don't acknowledge the darker sides of life

Optimist or pessimist: Somewhere in between, with a stronger tilt toward pessimism

Extrovert or introvert: Introvert

INTIMACY & RELATIONSHIPS:

Relationship status: Single

Sexual orientation: Pansexual, Demiromantic

Ideal mate/qualities they look for in a mate: Someone who is patient, understanding, and emotionally supportive. She needs a partner who can handle her complexities and provide stability without overwhelming her. Loyalty is crucial to her, as she values trust above all else, given her past experiences. She'd also appreciate someone who shares her love for the sea and quiet moments, and who respects her need for space when she’s feeling low

Ever been in love?: Yes but is not the lovey-dovey type

What’s their love language?: Quality Time, Acts of Service

Most important person in their life?: Her best friend, Quinn and Stitch, her cat

VOCATION:

Level of education: College Grad

Profession: Writer at the Northknot Tribune (Newspaper)

Past occupations: Worked in a library during college, Freelance writer

Passions: Environmental conservation and mental health awareness

Which is more important – money or doing something they love?: Doing something she loves

SECRETS:

Phobias: Abandonment, the Unknown

Life goals: Her primary life goal is to find out what happened to Edalyn. Beyond that, she wants to write a novel, something that will resonate with others who have faced loss and mental health struggles. She also dreams of finding peace within herself, though she struggles to believe it's possible

Greatest fears: Being alone forever, losing everyone she cares about, and never finding out what happened to Edalyn

Most embarrassing thing ever to happen to him/her: Once she accidentally sent a deeply personal, emotional poem she had written to her entire office instead of just saving it on her computer. It was a raw, unedited piece about her longing for Eda, and having her colleagues read it made her want to disappear

Something they’ve never told anyone: She sometimes blames herself for Edalyn's disappearance. She wonders if her desire to explore the land led to that fateful night, and the guilt has haunted her ever since

PREFERENCES:

Hobbies: Writing, Swimming, Sketching, Beachcombing

Favorite color: Blue

Favorite smell: The salty sea breeze

Favorite food: Clam chowder or fish tacos

Favorite book: The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

Favorite movie: The Shape of Water

Favorite song: Sea of Love by Cat Power

Coffee or tea?: Tea

Favorite type of weather: Overcast with a cool breeze

Most used word or phrase?: "It is what it is"

EXTRAS:

MBTI: INFP (The Mediator) - INFPs are known for their deep emotions, creativity, and strong values, often driven by their inner world of ideals and dreams. Maj's love for writing, her obsession with Eda's disappearance, and her struggle with mental health reflect the introspective and emotionally intense nature of an INFP. The Perceiving trait also aligns with her laid-back and go-with-the-flow attitude, as well as her tendency to avoid confrontation and live in a more spontaneous, unstructured manner

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral - Maj’s chaotic nature is evident in her rebellious streak as a teenager, her experimentation with drugs, and her decision to go against her parents' wishes. She isn't evil, but she’s not strictly good either—her actions are driven by her emotions and personal struggles rather than any strict moral code. Her neutrality is shown in how she drifts through life, often acting in her own self-interest without a clear alignment towards good or evil

Enneagram: Type 4 (The Individualist) - Type 4s are introspective, sensitive, and often feel different from others, which can lead to feelings of melancholy and longing. Maj’s deep emotional struggles, obsession with loss, and her sense of isolation all point towards Type 4. She feels a deep connection to the sea but is also drawn to the land, creating a sense of internal conflict and longing that is characteristic of a Type 4

Celtic Tree: Willow - The Willow tree is associated with intuition, emotion, and adaptability—traits that resonate with Maj’s personality. Willows are deeply connected to water and are often seen as symbols of resilience and healing, which aligns with Maj’s connection to the sea and her need for emotional grounding. The tree also reflects her tendency to bend rather than break under pressure, even if it leads her down darker paths

Temperament: Melancholic - The melancholic temperament is characterized by a deep, reflective, and often gloomy outlook on life. Maj’s struggles with depression, anxiety, and obsession with the past, as well as her solitary nature, all point to a melancholic temperament. She is thoughtful, sensitive, and prone to introspection, often lost in her own thoughts and emotions

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff - Hufflepuffs are known for their loyalty, patience, and dedication, traits that Maj displays in her relationships and her writing. Despite her struggles, she remains committed to the people she cares about, even if it's from a distance. Her love for the sea and the comfort it brings her also aligns with Hufflepuff’s connection to nature. Hufflepuffs are also known for being unassuming and blending into the background, which matches Maj’s quiet, low-key demeanor

Element: Water -Water is the natural element for Maj, given her origins as a mermaid and her deep connection to the sea. Water symbolizes emotion, intuition, and the subconscious—all aspects that are central to Maj’s character. It also represents adaptability and change, reflecting her fluid nature and the way she drifts between different aspects of her life, struggling to find stability

[deewellsosd]

When something memorable takes place, I have a way of remembering it by thinking who, what, why, and when- who I was with, what happened, why it took place, and when it took place, where I was when I heard the news.

March 26th marked the 27th anniversary of the Heaven's Gate cult mass suicide in San Diego, CA.

I was living in Boston, and trying to decide if I wanted to remain in higher education. It was around lunchtime and I was sitting in the dining hall with my colleagues, at Boston College, when the news popped up on the TVs in the hall.

It was reported that police officers were tipped off by a former Heaven's Gate member, who had received videotapes stating that by the time he watched them the group would've already be on the spaceship and leaving planet Earth.

For the folks that are old enough to remember the news reports, and the pictures: The 39 corpses wore the same black sweatsuits, the same black and white Nike sneakers, and were draped in purple cloths, that covered their bodies.

Yeah, it was some weird stuff.

Days later, we started to get more information about the group and their leader Marshall Applewhite aka Do. When the news showed Applewhite's face on screen, it wasn't hard to tell that this homie was just a little "off".

What struck the police officers, and many of the folks that showed up at the San Diego house was that the house was huge....we're talking 9,200-square-feet big!

When I started to follow the news reports, I couldn't help but notice that they all wore black outfits, but they all wore the same Nike sneakers! (Hey, I'm not afraid to say it......I paid attention to their feet, and the news kept showing the same picture over and over, so it was hard not to look at their feet!)

For a long time, I wondered what sneakers it was that the 39 dead wore, and a few newspapers reported that they all wore Nike Cortez sneakers.

Well, I KNEW just from the grainy-ass pictures (read: Before high definition television) that the sneakers were NOT Nike Cortez's.

I mean, any person could look at the picture and tell within seconds that the sneakers were not Nike Cortez. They resembled Nike Air Pegasus, but even then after looking at the pictures in The Boston Globe, I wasn't sure.

It took some research, and I was able to narrow it down to either the Nike Air Pegasus or Nike Decade. It took me almost a week to figure it out, but I finally settled on the Nike Decade.

I mean, these were folks who were coerced to give up their jobs, homes, possessions and money to Marshall Applewhite. And, I think what Applewhite did in the days or weeks leading up the mass suicide, he probably had someone visit a Nike outlet and purchase the Nike Decade sneakers for him and the rest of the folks that were going to "make that trip" on the spaceship that was following the Hale-Bopp Comet.

For years, on a number of message boards such as NikeTalk, ISS and others, people posted pictures of the bodies wearing the black and white sneakers. I've even had a conversation where someone brought up Heaven's Gate to me because they knew that I "liked" sneakers, and were surprised that I knew what sneakers they were wearing. (It's called Obsessive Sneaker Disorder.)

So, on the 27th anniversary of the Heaven's Gate cult making that "peaceful journey" on the spaceship, we pray for them and their families.

[lindsayrps]

nell howard development

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: eleanor jane howard NICKNAME(S): nell, mostly, or some variation thereof. she's heard el and lea, though. PREFERRED NAME(S): nell BIRTH DATE: october 6 AGE: twenty five GENDER: cis female PRONOUNS: she/hers ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: heteroromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual NATIONALITY: american ETHNICITY: white CURRENT LOCATION: dependent on work placement. LIVING CONDITIONS: again, dependent on work placement so varies. sometimes airbnb, sometimes extended stay hotels.

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: eden, new york HOMETOWN: eden, new york SOCIAL CLASS: middle EDUCATION LEVEL: bachelor's of science in nursing + registered nurse FATHER: john howard MOTHER: caroline howard SIBLING(S): robert "robbie" howard (14) + thomas howard (deceased) BIRTH ORDER: thomas, nell, robbie CHILDREN: none yet PET(S): her boyfriend's cat, harry. none OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: none PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: no lol. she's dated some, wouldn't necessarily consider many, if any, of them relationships of any great importance. ARRESTS?: none PRISON TIME?: none

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: travel nurse SECONARY SOURCE OF INCOME: none CONTENT WITH THIEIR JOB (OR LACK THEREOF)?: mostly, just wants to transition from travel to a permanent position somewhere. PAST JOB(S): waitress, retail cashier SPENDING HABITS: fairly frugal. it's got to fit in her suitcase otherwise she can't bring it with her when she leaves.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: she's not struggling to lift marginally heavy things but she's no body builder either SPEED: decent INTELLIGENCE: average in general, slightly higher when it comes to medically related things ACCURACY: slightly above average AGILITY: decent STAMINA: thanks to extensive hospital shifts: she's good TEAMWORK: exceptionally high but she's never not worked well with other people TALENTS: problem solving, researching, caring for others SHORTCOMINGS: too sensitive, has a hard time delegating tasks, not super trusting, holds herself back from things she wants (specifically relationships) due to perceived pitfalls/not wanting to get hurt LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, spanish, fumbling her way through duolingo's french course DRIVE?: yes but doesn't JUMP START A CAR?: no CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: no RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes SWIM?: yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: violin from her youth v but christ alive don't make her do it PLAY CHESS?: yes BRAID HAIR?: yes TIE A TIE?: yes PICK A LOCK?: no

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: lucy boynton EYE COLOR: green HAIR COLOR: blonde GLASSES/CONTACTS?: yes, mostly wears contacts but if she doesn't have to be at work, she'll wear her glasses. DOMINANT HAND: right HEIGHT: 5'4 BUILD: average, maybe on the skinnier side EXERCISE HABITS: mostly walking everywhere, not super fond of the gym / gym bros SKIN TONE: pale, even TATTOOS: thomas' initials on the side of her wrist PIERCINGS: ears MARKS/SCARS: half inch vertical scar on the outside of her right foot from when she stepped on a wide, upright metal comb NOTABLE FEATURES: big bambi eyes USUAL EXPRESSION: happy CLOTHING STYLE: casual and comfortable. oversized tshirts (that may or may not be hers), hoodies, shorts, sundresses, anything floral or with a pattern, layers, mismatched items (shorts + hoodie, jeans + tank top), converse, docs, sneakers JEWELRY: minimal and dainty, nothing too terribly dangly. earrings, necklace, a ring ALLERGIES: none DIET: everything in moderation. if you think she's going to deprive herself of pasta you're mistaken. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: none

PSYCHOLOGY

ENNEGRAM TYPE: type 2: the helper MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful good TEMPERAMENT: sanguine ELEMENT: water MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: anxiety SOCIABILITY: highly sociable. what's the opposite of black cat girlfriend? that's nell. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: fairly stable, has her moments though, usually when she's overwhelmed. OBSESSION(S): none COMPULSION(S): none PHOBIA(S): none ADDICTION(S): none DRUG USE: no ALCOHOL USE: socially but not a lot PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: no

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: formal at work, casual otherwise. ACCENT: comparatively, probably, but she would say she doesn't have one. QUIRKS: none that stand out HOBBIES: crochet, crosswords, nature walks, baking, reading NERVOUS TICKS: chews on her lip or nails DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: feeling loved/valued in friendships/relationships, protecting herself/her loved ones, taking care of others. FEARS: first and foremost: something happening to robbie, and then the usuals: failure, rejection, loneliness. being in a plane crash. POSITIVE TRAITS: sociable, caring, adventurous, optimistic, reliable NEGATIVE TRAITS: sensitive, guarded, self-critical SENSE OF HUMOR: fairly light DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: not going to punctuate every other word with a cuss but when it's necessary, sure.

FAVOURITES

ACTIVITY: anything she can do with friends ANIMAL: tie between cats and dogs BEVERAGE: coffee BOOK: the mill on the floss COLOR: phthalo green FOOD: cinnamon buns FLOWER: hydrangeas GEM: alexandrite HOLIDAY: halloween (yes it counts) MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: walking/subway MOVIE: titanic MUSICAL ARTIST: noah kahan SCENERY: she'll take anything, she likes it all. SCENT: elliot 😋 SPORT: not super big on sports but she'll adopt whichever one her friends like most SPORTS TEAM: see above TELEVISION SHOW: ted lasso WEATHER: man tie between summer and fall VACATION DESTINATION: anywhere away from work

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: just having complete ownership over her life and being happy with the decisions she's made GREATEST FEAR: losing robbie, not even, like, permanently but in general. MOST AT EASE WHEN: around elliot / her friends. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: around her parents. in some twisted way she supposes she still loves them because they're her parents but man alive she's been LC since she was 18 and it's the best thing she's ever done. the only reason she's not NC is her brother. WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: losing robbie, anything happening to her friends/elliot, losing her job BIGGEST REGRET: not fighting to take robbie with her when she could. BIGGEST SECRET: doesn't really fuck with secrets if you know her so, yanno. TOP PRIORITIES: her people, her job, being happy and content with her life

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

158 of 2025

Random @sewxxsurveys

How are you feeling today?

Definitely better than yesterday. No sinus pain and no running nose anymore, just a little cough from time to time.

Do you ever make your own surveys?

No, I don't. I'm not creative enough.

How flexible are you?

I can do funny weird things with my fingers and other body parts, so.

What is your favorite class?

I'm not in school.

What is your boyfriend’s name?

I'm not sharing that.

What is your favorite drink?

Hot chocolate.

Who is your best friend?

My husband.

What time is it?

19:02 at the moment.

What is your middle name?

I think I answered it in a previous survey.

What 3 websites do you visit daily?

priyom.org, sigidwiki.com, Listography.

Where do you work?

In a big French rolling stock manufacturing company.

What is your favorite band?

I have a lot, but at this moment I'm definitely back to Paradise Lost.

How do you feel about abortion?

You do you. Who am I to say anything about it. I don't encourage and I don't forbid.

Do you want any kids?

No, I don't.

Have you ever microwaved soap?

Well, is there any reason why I should?

Are there any new movies that you want to see?

No.

How many places have you lived?

Four or five, one was abroad.

Do you have any health issues?

I do. Physical disability from stroke, some neurological crap related to it, chronic sinusitis/tonsillitis since I was a baby, and I was born with a genetic connective tissue disorder.

Are you texting anyone?

Not at the moment. I'm playing with the Imagine app, though. It's kinda interesting what AI can create from a prompt.

When do you usually go to bed?

Around 22:00.

What do you drive?

I don't even have a licence.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

Nope, thankfully not.

Are you drinking or eating anything?

Just finished, chicken nuggets from McDonald's.

What color is your shirt?

White, it has a black cat print.

Do you drink?

Nope, not anymore.

What year do/did you graduate?

2010 from school, 2004 from uni.

Do you play any sports?

I used to play basketball in my teens, that's it.

Do you pop your fingers?

Yeah, I do.

What is your shoe size?

42 in European.

Have you ever had a UTI?

Ow hell yeah. Terrible and so painful.

What was the last thing you baked?

Cinnamon-vanilla shortcrust cookies.

When was the last time you showered?

Today morning.

Would you rather go to the dentist or the doctor?

I have so many specialists I go to that I'm really used to it, but I'm terrified of dentists, so.

Have you ever been in love?

I loved and love, but being in love? I'm not sure.

How do you feel about public speaking?

No thanks, not for me.

Do you see anything green?

Yeah, the Spotify icon in my phone.

What shoes do you usually wear?

Black combat boots. Or these black canvas sneakers from Fila.

Do you take any birth control?

I don't think it's necessary in same sex relationship.

Who is the last person you talked to?

My husband before he left for work.

Are there any fast food restaurants that you refuse to eat at?

Yeah, Subway for some reason.

Do you recycle?

I reuse things, definitely.

Do you know what you want to major in in college?

I got a degree in electrical engineering years ago, thanks.

Have you ever snuck anyone in your room?

Nope. When me and my sister were growing up, our rooms were upstairs.

Who was the last person in your bed besides you?

My husband.

What color are your nails?

Like... natural? A fingernail colour?

Have you ever been in the hospital?

I was hospitalized for stroke and following brain haemorrhage that needed emergency surgery, so take your guess. I landed three times in the hospital from complications, too. Plus µi had knee surgery when I was 19.

What’s the last movie you watched?

No.

What’s your favorite fruit?

Sour cherry and strawberry.

What do your bathroom walls look like?

White tiles. Nothing extravagant.

What do you spend most of your money on?

Currently, hair extensions. I went crazy again.

Do you have any weird obsessions?

Does shortwave radio count as weird?

Do you bite your nails?

I used to, but fluoxetine helped a lot with this.

What’s the last color you died your hair?

I'm not dead, and neither is my hair. Anyway, my hair is pink now. Kinda gradient, from deep pink to pastel pink.

How do you feel about mustaches?

My dad has one, so I'm used to it. I wouldn't want it myself, though.

Is there anyone that you really want to see in concert?

Nah.

Do you ever buy fountain drinks from the gas station?

Is "fountain drink" the same as soda? Anyway, I buy them when I need.

[anja-cosy-blogs]

Intro to Me:

Appearance

Dark brown hair buzzcut

Deep brown eyes

A bit on the husky side (actively losing weight)

Wears pink shirts often or black shirts

Wears blue jeans or pink sweatpants

Has one pair of sneakers

About me

Sexual orientation: pansexual, prefers men, but is starting to lose trust in men

Pronouns: she/they/he

Age: 29

Birthday: March 22nd

Gender: fluid, but feminine

HRT? Yes, I take Androgel 5.0g

Hobbies and Interests: cooking, singing, drawing, gaming, etc.

Personality:

Bubbly, happy, joyful

Sad, depressed, emotional

Is very blunt and honest

Doesn't dance around issues

Cannot stand toxic people

Makes her neurodiversity her whole personality

Food is love, food is life

Diagnosis

Autistic (diagnosed at 9)

Borderline personality disorder (diagnosed at 26)

ADHD (diagnosed at 29)

Prognosis

Autism:

Can't seem to look in people's eyes

Wasn't able to speak normally

Hated sharing my things (still do lol)

Threw a lot of fits

BPD:

Emotional

Cries for movies

Cries for video games

Impulsive

Addicted to some things

Gets big anxiety attacks

Can't seem to function when depressed

Becomes hyperfocus when someone hurts me emotionally and can't stop talking or thinking about it

ADHD:

Talks a lot

Interrupts a lot

Can't finish projects they've started

Gets hyper focused on certain interests

Gets bored of certain interests

Has no motivation of being able to clean

Has bursts of motivation to clean

Constantly has earworms (music in my head for those who don't know)

Forgets name 10 seconds after hearing it

Constantly zones out of conversations

Gets distracted easily

Gets obsessed easily over things

What I do online

YouTube videos (I have multiple channels)

Instagram photos and reels

TikTok

Facebook posts and sharing

Distributes music

Does commissions online for art

And that's me. Thanks for reading!

[mycharacterdump]

𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

You know I'll do anything you ask me to But oh my God, I think I'm in love with you Standin' here alone now, think that we can drive around I just wanna say how I love you with your hair down Baby, you don't gotta fight, I'll be here 'til the end of time Wishin' that you were mine, pull you in, it's alright.

BASIC INFORMATION ,

FULL NAME: riley aracelia marcela morales albright.

NICKNAME(S): riles, riri, ridley. 

DATE OF BIRTH: june 6th.

ETHNICITY: caucasian + mexican.

GENDER: demi woman.

PRONOUNS: she/they.

ORIENTATION: homoromantic, homosexual.

RELIGION: atheist, raised catholic.

MARITAL STATUS: single.

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: bilingual in english and spanish.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ,

FACE CLAIM: camila mendes.

HAIR COLOUR/STYLE: naturally black.

EYE COLOUR: dark brown eyes. 

HEIGHT: five foot two.

WEIGHT: 120 lbs.

BUILD: slightly athletic.

TATTOOS: her son's initials on her inner left wrist. 

PIERCINGS: lobes double-pierced. 

CLOTHING STYLE: button-ups, jackets and slacks, paired with doc martens or sneakers, minimal jewelry minus a venus symbol necklace she wears everywhere.

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: scar on lower torso from when she needed a liver resection after overdosing.

AESTHETICS: piles of books all over the place, printed out posters of horror movies, a laugh in the face of authority, dark greens and black filling your wardrobe, the smell of weed stuck to clothes, lies that sound genuine, found family, over-sized clothing, showing up late to everything with a large coffee, bags under your eyes, a worn out beanie, still using an ipod for music, papers all over their space, a pencil behind their ear, bedhead, research books and journals, greek tragedies, a worn-down leather briefcase, rolled up sleeves, a small yet cozy apartment, roaming empty streets late at night, leather jackets, driving too fast on an empty street, the peak of a high, old jackets, eavesdropping, flickering neon signs, broken glass, rainbow gasoline puddles, long naps, uncertain paths, not recognizing yourself in the mirror, feeling hollow inside, enjoying the rain, leaving before the other wakes up,

HEALTH ,

AILMENTS: none.

MENTAL AILMENTS: generalized anxiety disorder + obsessive compulsive disorder.

EMOTIONAL STABILITY: medium.

BODY TEMPERATURE: warm.

ADDICTIONS: oxycontin + heroin. 

DRUG USE: often. 

ALCOHOL USE: socially. 

PERSONALITY ,

LABEL: the lone wolf.

POSITIVE TRAITS: independent, politically-minded, willing to try new things, witty, understanding, innovative, overachiever. 

NEGATIVE TRAITS: dogmatic, restless, tryhard, partial weaboo, very argumentative, has plenty of obsessive tendencies, burnt out, self-control issues.

HOBBIES: art ( drawing + painting + sketching ), debate, soccer.

QUIRKS: half-fluent in spanish at her mother's insistence, doodles wherever she can and always has some sort of pen or pencil on hand, loves reorganizing, draws portraits of random passersby, always sleeps on the right side of her bed, keeps her pills in a sugar skull candy box from her abuela.

LIKES: drugs, her best friends, rabbits, anime and manga, driving around town aimlessly, studio ghibli movies, art, watching old clips of the colbert report, hooking up with ginny, being spaced out, sunsets, visiting her family in mexico.

DISLIKES: attending class, the current political climate, reading obnoxious harper's articles, having to wait for a fix, her anxiety, always needing to be clean, being left on read, people who spit casually, dirt and grime.

FAVOURITE ,

WEATHER: sunny.

COLOUR: navy blue. 

MUSIC: 80s alt rock.

MOVIES: ghost in the shell, whisper of the heart, neon genesis evangelion: the end of evangelion. 

BOOK: slaughterhouse-five by kurt vonnegut.

FLOWER: california poppy.

SPORT: soccer. 

BEVERAGE: black coffee. 

FOOD: meat lover's pizza.

FAMILY ,

FATHER: adam albright (alive.)

MOTHER: marcela morales-albright (alive.)

SIBLING(S): one older sister, manon albright.

SIGNIFICANT OTHER: none.

CHILDREN: one five year old son, amaru 'rue' albright.

PET(S): holland lop named sylux.

FAMILY’S FINANCIAL STATUS: comfortable.

[solecialstudies]

Great interview with Malik Brown of Rolling Out about SOLEcial Studies. Thank you Malik and I look forward to us talking again soon!

[el3ctraaa]

This is a lot more of personal grudge for me than anything else. But one of my friends was murdered over the summer, like brutally murdered. I'd known this kid since kindergarten, my childhood best friend had a crush on him from the ages of 8-12, a lot of my friends had crushes on him in highschool too. One of my friends even wrote a whole essay for my other friend on why she shouldn't date hime. We sat next to each other in freshman year English too. We both had eating disorders, he was anorexic and I was bulimic, we were on meal plans at the same time and would complain about them together. Sometimes over the pandemic him and his brother started a business together it did really well and he got a Rolex with his earnings. He was a huge sneaker head too, like absolutely obsessed. We were in the same sociology class senior year, every morning he'd show up late with a full breakfast in a frying pan, like pancakes, eggs, sausage, all of it every morning and just eat it during class. The teacher would always ask if he had enough to share and he'd reply no. We sat close to each other so I would help him cheat, he had a really good smile so you really couldn't say no to him. One day, not even a month past graduation, he was dead. Like all over the news dead. A week later my aunts and cousins knowing that I knew him started sending me tiktoks about his death. Like the ones where they talk about true crime while doing their makeup. He hadn't even had a funeral yet and there were women applying their Charlotte tilsbury foundation and listing out all the ways his body had been brutalized. They had link in bio for the products they used, they were making a profit off his death. Here was this kid who had such a rich life, who touched so many hearts including my own while he was alive, and his story was being condensed to a burnt body people could use to make a quick buck off of on the Internet. Like are they not disgusted using a child's death for profit? So yeah I hope every single one of them die and I hope people make tiktoks about them too. And I hope that from whatever place in hell they're in they feel disgusted by the people using their life tragedy the way they used others I think this applies doubly to podcasts because they make even more money off it.

Here's the monthly reminder that I hate true crime podcasts and if you have a true crime podcast you are a disgusting human being and I hope you kill yourself and I hope no one mourns you and I hope someone somewhere on the Internet makes a profit on your death, thank you and goodnight

[sneakervangelist]

((WORLD PREMIERE)) KICKS, KIDS & COPS (2022) 

 A documentary short produced by Sean Williams of Obsessive Sneaker Disorder/SOLEcial Studies which captures OG sneaker lover, police officer Zoe Strunkey 's NYPD Sneaker SOLEcial exhibition and community town hall style discussion. THE GOAL..use sneakers to bridge the gap and foster a better relationship between officers and the youth they interact with in Brooklyn communities. The result..well, you'll have to watch find out. 

 Special shout to DJ Ryno for providing the soundtrack for the day! 

 Filmed and edited by Baba Khid! 

#osdlive #NYPD #solecialstudies #kickstories #peopleoversneakers #Brooklyn #walkgood #weareverypair

[deewellsosd]

You know Bally shoes, right?

They've been around forever, but in the 80s, they got real popular thanks to some big-name rappers.

Doug E. Fresh, Slick Rick, and Big Daddy Kane were all seen rockin' Bally's and making them a must-have for anyone who wanted to keep up with the latest fashion trends.

Bally, which started in Switzerland in 1851, began as a small leather goods maker but quickly expanded to include a wide range of products, including shoes and sneakers.

They were known for their high-quality craftsmanship and attention to detail, which made them a favorite among the fashion obsessed.

Thanks to rappers, Bally shoes became even more popular and the brand was even shouted out on more than a handful of songs.

Can you name a song that mentions Bally shoes?🤔

[lindsayrps]

marco civella development

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME:  marco leono civella NICKNAME(S): none and don't try. PREFERRED NAME(S): marco BIRTH DATE: april 21, 1990 AGE: thirty three GENDER: cis male PRONOUNS:he/him ROMANTIC/SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual NATIONALITY: italian-american ETHNICITY: white CURRENT LOCATION: san francisco LIVING CONDITIONS: this expensive as fuck house on green street.

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: salerno, italy. HOMETOWN: chicago (1.5 years - 8 years), san francisco (8 years old to present) PLACES LIVED: salerno, chicago, san francisco SOCIAL CLASS: upper EDUCATION LEVEL: university educated, rarely used. FATHER: giovanni civella, deceased. MOTHER: maria civella SIBLING(S): alba (33), leora (30), lorenzo (25) BIRTH ORDER: marco, alba, leora, lorenzo CHILDREN: none PET(S): none OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: none PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: nothing of importance; he's dated here and there but, honestly, would prefer to keep his romantic entanglements as one offs ARRESTS?: none, yet. really, it's only a matter of time. PRISON TIME?: see above

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: head of the civella crime family SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: owner of limelight, a burlesque club TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: --CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: yes, loves both. PAST JOB(S): he's more or less been involved in mob shit since he was a teenager. SPENDING HABITS: he gets what he wants and doesn't spare any expense. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: definitely the house, whether it was paid for in a legal manner doesn't matter.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: A OFFENSE: A DEFENSE: A SPEED: A INTELLIGENCE: A- ACCURACY: A- AGILITY: B STAMINA: fairly high TEAMWORK: F lol he doesn't work well with other people. TALENTS: eh, what are talents when they're not above board. SHORTCOMINGS: he's manipulative and has one hell of a hair trigger temper LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, italian DRIVE?: yes JUMP-STAR A CAR?: yes CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: yes RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes SWIM?: yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: in a rudimentary sense, yes. PLAY CHESS?: yes BRAID HAIR?: no TIE A TIE?: yes PICK A LOCK?: yes

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: thomas doherty EYE COLOR: blue HAIR COLOR: brown HAIR TYPE/STYLE: short, not usually slicked back but styled in a put together way GLASSES/CONTACTS?: no DOMINANT HAND: right HEIGHT: 6'0 BUILD: athletic EXERCISE HABITS: he's too busy to exercise honestly. SKIN TONE: even TATTOOS: several, no you may not see them PEIRCINGS: none MARKS/SCARS: knicks and cuts here and there NOTABLE FEATURES: piercing blue eyes, angular jaw. USUAL EXPRESSION: resting bitch face CLOTHING STYLE: dress pants, slacks, jeans are non existent in his wardrobe. button downs that are both plain and a little jazzed up, polos, suit jackets, tshirts are also non existent. ties, vests, undershirts are plain white/black/grey tanks if they exist at all. oxfords, loafers, brogues, whole cut shoes. sneakers? never heard of her. JEWELRY: watch, thin chain necklace, monogram ring on his index finger; all silver. ALLERGIES: no. DIET: moderation is key PHYSICAL AILMENTS: none

PSYCHOLOGY

ENNEAGRAM TYPE: the challenger MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful evil. TEMPERAMENT: choleric ELEMENT: fire MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: no SOCIABILITY: fairly extroverted if he likes you otherwise don't look at him, don't talk to him, don't perceive him. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: kind of skewed. depends on the day. OBSESSION(S): none COMPULSION(S): none PHOBIA(S): none ADDICTION(S): none DRUG USE: he's dabbled here and there in both the widely accepted and illicit ALCOHOL USE: yes PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: oh, yes.

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: even, perhaps a little slower, calculated. ACCENT: he doesn't think so QUIRKS: n/a HOBBIES: high end collecting of things--cars, art, etc. HABITS: he doesn't really think he has any NERVOUS TICKS: n/a DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: power and money. FEARS: getting arrested/going to jail. dying? eh. POSITIVE TRAITS: loyal, charming, attentive NEGATIVE TRAITS: manipulative, aggressive, doesn't really have scruples, distrustful SENSE OF HUMOR: dry, dark. DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: yes

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: ehh ANIMAL: dogs BEVERAGE: coffee BOOK: CELEBRITY: n/a COLOR: dark, rich jewel tone colours. navy blue, eggplant, bole. DESIGNER: YSL / tom ford FOOD: always down for a good steak FLOWER: n/a GEM: diamond HOLIDAY:  n/a MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: car MOVIE: anything kind of classic hollywood, perhaps unexpectedly MUSICAL ARTIST: no favs, all good SCENERY: cityscapes SCENT: fresh brewed coffee SPORT: no clear favourite SPORTS TEAM: no clear favourite TELEVISION SHOW: no clear favourite WEATHER: slightly rainy, foggy, fall weather VACATION DESTINATION: somewhere in the caribbean

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: keep building the empire GREATEST FEAR: being arrested / going to jail MOST AT EASE WHEN: honestly all the time? he's rarely uncomfortable in any given situation LEAST AT EASE WHEN: see above WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: anything happening to his siblings, the civella empire crumbling, being arrested, etc BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: just everything he's got rn BIGGEST REGRET: eh nothing MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: n/a BIGGEST SECRET: mmm... TOP PRIORITIES: business / family / everything else

[stuckonvenus]

♥ ˚⊹ BLUE LARSEN.

♥ ˚⊹ BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: BLUE LARSEN NICKNAME(S): B, LULU. PREFERRED NAME(S): BLUE BIRTH DATE: MARCH 31ST AGE: 24 ZODIAC: TAURUS GENDER: CIS MALE PRONOUNS: HE/HIM ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: HETEROROMANTIC SEXUAL ORIENTATION: HETEROSEXUAL SPECIES: HUMAN LIVING CONDITIONS: N/A

♥ ˚⊹ BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: BRAVIDIS / GADSEN, ALABAMA. HOMETOWN: BRAVIDIS / RAINBOW CITY, ALABAMA. EDUCATION LEVEL: HIGH SCHOOL FATHER: QUINN LARSEN MOTHER: ALBA GRAVES SIBLING(S): FOUR: OLIVE LARSEN, RUSTY LARSEN, BRICK LARSEN, AND SIENNA LARSEN. PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: NONE. ARRESTS?: NONE. PRISON TIME?: NO.

♥ ˚⊹ OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: FORTUNE TELLER / FUNERAL HOME WORKER. SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: NONE. CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: IS CONTENT WITH IT. SPENDING HABITS: MOSTLY ON FOOD. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: TAROT DECK.

♥ ˚⊹ SKILLS & ABILITIES

TALENTS: ‘SIXTH SENSE’, MAKING ANYONE COMFORTABLE AROUND HIM. SHORTCOMINGS: EMOTIONALLY FRAGILE. LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: ENGLISH. DRIVE?: CAN DRIVE. JUMP-STAR A CAR?: YES. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: YES. RIDE A BICYCLE?: YES. SWIM?: CAN SWIM. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: NO. PLAY CHESS?: YES. BRAID HAIR?: NO. TIE A TIE?: YES. PICK A LOCK?: YES.

♥ ˚⊹ PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: DYLAN ARNOLD. EYE COLOR: BLUE. HAIR COLOR: BLACK. HAIR TYPE/STYLE: SHORT AND CURLY. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: NONE. DOMINANT HAND: AMBIDEXTROUS. HEIGHT: 6′0. WEIGHT: 140LBS. BUILD: SLIGHTLY MUSCULAR. EXERCISE HABITS: JOGS EVERY OTHER DAY. TATTOOS: NONE. PIERCINGS: NONE MARKS/SCARS: NONE. NOTABLE FEATURES: NONE. USUAL EXPRESSION: NEUTRAL. CLOTHING STYLE: BUTTON-UPS AND JACKETS, SLACKS, AND SNEAKERS. JEWELRY: NONE. ALLERGIES: NONE. BODY TEMPERATURE: NORMAL. DIET: OMNIVOROUS. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: NONE.

♥ ˚⊹ PSYCHOLOGY

JUNG TYPE: INFP. ENNEAGRAM TYPE: 9 [THE PEACEMAKER] MORAL ALIGNMENT: LAWFUL GOOD TEMPERAMENT: SANGUINE MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: NONE. OBSESSION(S): NONE. COMPULSION(S): NONE. PHOBIA(S): NONE. ADDICTION(S): NONE. DRUG USE: NONE. ALCOHOL USE: DRINKS OCCASIONALLY. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: NO.

♥ ˚⊹ MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: CASUAL. ACCENT: SOUTHERN. QUIRKS: EATS/CHEWS GUM WHEN NERVOUS OR UNCOMFORTABLE. HOBBIES: HUNTING, FISHING. HABITS: MUMBLING TO HIMSELF WHEN FOCUSED. NERVOUS TICKS: CHEWS ON TONGUE, STICKS TONGUE THROUGH CHEEK. DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: SURVIVE. POSITIVE TRAITS: SWEET, CLEVER. NEGATIVE TRAITS: GULLIBLE, SELF-CONSCIOUS. SENSE OF HUMOR: DEPENDS ON THE PERSON/SCENARIO. DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: YES. CATCHPHRASE(S): WELL...

♥ ˚⊹ FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: EATING. ANIMAL: SHARKS. BEVERAGE: COLA. COLOR: CHARTRUESE. FOOD: ANY. BOOK: THE FAULT IN OUR STARS BY JOHN GREEN. FLOWER: SNAPDRAGON. GEM: JADEITE. HOLIDAY: NEW YEAR’S EVE. MOVIE: FIVE FEET APART. MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: TRAIN. SCENERY: DUSK. SCENT: MACE. SPORT: NONE. WEATHER: SUMMERY. VACATION DESTINATION: BIDEQUAY BAY, AVUTERA / BAHAMAS.

[lovemesomesurveys]

The last time you were at a diner, what did you order?: I ordered 4 over-easy eggs, biscuits and gravy, hash browns, and coffee.

Do you usually buy souvenirs when you go to amusement parks?: Yeah, that’s a must for me.

When you last watched a movie, did you watch it alone or with someone?: I recently saw Black Widow with my mom, aunt, and brother. Are you happy with your weight?: No. 

What’s the dress code for your job? Do you like it?: --

Does your job allow piercings or tattoos?: --

How often do you wash your hair?: Three times a week.

Do you want to get married? If so, what color will your dress be?: No, I don’t.

Ever had a caricature done of yourself? How much was it, and were you satisfied with it?: Yeah. It was quite awhile ago so I don’t recall how much it cost, but yeah I liked it.

Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches?: I’ve actually never had one but they sound good. 

Last color you painted your nails?: Black.

Last time you got a hair cut?: A little over a week ago.

When you want to buy coffee, where do you go?: Starbucks.

Did you try McDonald’s new smoothies? What do you think of them?: No, I’ve never had one of their smoothies.

What are some trends you dislike that everyone seems to love?: Crocs. Whyyyy?

Ever been to Gaia Online? Do you have an account?: I think so... the name rings a bell. 

Where can you usually be found on a Friday night?: At home like any other night.

What’s your relationship status? Are you happy with it?: Very much single and yes I’m fine with it. 

If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? I don’t know.

If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it?: I had been dyeing it red the past few years, but I’m currently well over a year overdue now and I’d just like to get it done. 

What shoes do you usually wear in the summer?: I only ever wear sneakers like my Adidas year round.

What’s your favorite amusement park?: Disneyland.

Do you like rollercoasters?: Only the Cars and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad rollercoasters at Disneyland. Just the right amount of speed and adrenaline rush for me that I can handle, nothing too crazy. They’re so fun.

How old are your siblings?: My younger brother is 22 and my older brother is 37.

Would you ever enlist in the army?: I couldn’t even if I wanted to because of my physical disability.

Are you afraid of public restrooms?: I’m not afraid of them, but I do avoid using them unless I really need to. Especially during these times of COVID.

What perfume do you wear?: I don’t have a perfume, but I do have a beach-y body spray I’ve been wearing.

How often do you use lotion?: I rarely do, but I really should start applying it regularly.

Do you play video games? If so, what kind?: Sometimes. I like Mario Bro games, I was obsessed with Animal Crossing: New Horizons last year, The Sims, the Life is Strange series...

How old is your oldest and youngest friend?: --

Do you donate your old stuff to Goodwill? If so, what was the last thing you donated?: The last thing I donated was some clothes. <<<

Do you wear jeans? I honestly haven’t worn jeans at all for the past 3-4 years now, I just live in leggings. 

How many hours do you usually work a week?: --

How old were you in 1999?: I turned 10.

Last time you were at a job interview? How did it go?: I’ve never had a job interview.

What’s one place you’d NEVER want to work at?: I couldn’t do anything in the medical field. 

How many kids would you want?: Zero.

Do you wear lipstick? If so, what color?: No.

Do you use Tumblr? What do you normally post?: Nope, never heard of it.

Was your first Green Day album American Idiot?: Yes. I listened to their older stuff before that, but yeah that’s the first album of theirs I actually owned.

Do you do your own laundry?: No, my mom helps me with that.

Do you get paid weekly or bi-weekly?: --

Did you tease freshmen in high school?: No, I never did that.

What have you done so far today? It’s 5 in the morning I haven’t done a whole lot.

Are your nails painted any colors right now? No. It’s been a few years since I last painted my nails.

Do you think kittens are cute? Yeah.

Have you ever submitted a story to fmylife.com? No.

What color are the sheets on your bed? Mint green.

What’s your favorite room in the place you’re in? Mine.

Is there someone you wish to call your boyfriend/girlfriend right now? No.

How weight conscious are you? Very. It’s one of the main focal points right now and topic of discussion with like everyone. There’s always a comment of some kind regarding it. Doctors and family making sure I’m eating and reminding me, as if I need to be reminded at all, that I’m underweight and need to eat more. As if I’m not trying. As if it’s that simple. “Just eat more” blah blah. I don’t use the word “triggered” easily at all, but the topic of my weight is a big trigger for me. My Nana texted me recently and was like, “I saw some photos of you taken recently at your brother’s grad party and you’re so thin!! You need to seek medical treatment.” Ugh. I know everyone means well and I’m fortunate to have people that care, but it’s just really frustrating and something I’ve been struggling with and I’m just really tired of it.

Have you ever shot a gun? Once when I went to a shooting range with some friends years ago.

What’s your favorite eye color? Blue or green.

Rent a movie or go see one in theaters? I like going to the movies, especially when it’s to see something I’m really into and excited about like Marvel films or one that looks really good like a horror or psychological thriller. Streaming movies is nice, too, it just depends.

Is there anyone else with you right now? Not in this room, but in the house yeah. What’s the biggest personality trait turn off for a potential partner? Arrogance and cockiness are a couple.

Would you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? No.

What color is the shirt you’re wearing? I’m wearing a camoflage t-shirt dress. They’re so comfy to wear around the house.

How many times have your changed your clothes today? Once.

Have you ever been accused of cheating? No.

How about having an eating disorder? Yes. I think that’s what some think I’m dealing with right now.

Would you ever go on a birth control pill? I don’t have a reason to.

Do you know how to do your own laundry? I’ve always had help with that because it would be hard for me to do.

Is your bed made? Yeah, it always is because I sleep on top of the tucked in sheets and just use a throw blanket if I need something. It’s been warm enough that I haven’t needed a blanket, though.

Where’s your cell phone? Nearby on my bed.

Have you ever taken a train? No.

[slowlymadeart]

[Image 1 Description:  A Crowd of people, all colored blue, with the label "Interneters" on them. To the left of the crowd a young man stands out. He is a repeat character. We'll call him "The Interneter." He has dark brown skin, short light blue dread-locks. He wears a burgundy colored hoodie, a dark teal V-neck shirt, and dark bluish-grey jeans. The Interneter says "You never told us what a "Spoonie" is."

To the middle right is Rachel, we can only see to the bottom of her shirt for now. (She has pale white skin, short and messy blonde hair, teal shirt with ferns printed on each side, Maroon shorts, light cyan thigh-high stocking with cut outs of leaves on them, maroon shoes). Rachel, smiling wearily, looking right at us, holding her index finger up:"Well, you could just google it. But hey, what the heck? Why pass up an opportunity to be the first person who tells you what it means?" 

We see Rachel again on the lower left side, smiling while raising an eyebrow, holding her left hand to her face, and her right hand out towards us: "Ya  ready?" 

The crowd lines the bottom of the image. The Interneter stands in the middle, with a speech bubble above "Yes." and a speech bubble to his bottom right, "That's why we asked."]

[Image 2 Description: There is a lavender square at the top of this image, on it is the text:  "Spoonie" comes from a disability metaphor first described in a 2003 essay by christine miserandino called "The Spoon Theory" in which she tells the story of trying to explain to a friend what it feels like to have lupus, using spoons as visual representation of her daily energy. She actually handed her friend a bouquet of spoons and said: "

Below Christine, a white woman with long brunette hair, a white headband, purple dress shirt and jeans, holds out a sparkling bouquet of spoons saying "Here you go". 

Below this we see her down on one knee. To her right her friend, female, brown skin, long braided dark brunette hair with a reddish tint, blue over-all dress, and teal leggings, sits on a stool holding the spoons Christine handed her.

"You have Lupus." Christine says, to which her friend nervously responds "Haha, whaaat?...... Please explain."]

[Image 3 Description: Another lander square fills the top of this image, on it is a quote from Christine's Essay,  "Most people start  the day with unlimited amounts of possibilities- energy to do whatever they desire...for the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions...I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have something else being in control." 

Below Christine sits alone, her legs "criss-cross". She is smiling at us and holds a giant spoon. Around her are little blurbs in purple text, "Might actually own a giant spoon" "Has done awesome advocacy work" "Read more at butyoudontlooksick.com (if you want to)"]

[Image 4 Description: a chart titled "How Spoon Theory Works". A single spoon equals a unit of energy that a person can use safely. On the left is "spoon cost per activities" on the right is icons to show the activities.

1 spoon; Getting out of bed, taking medications, changing clothes. 2 spoons; Watching a tv show, a microwavable meal, using the internet.3 spoons; Enagaing in a small activity like art, cleaning something, making a meal that required stove or oven.4 spoons; Taking a shower, leaving your home, socializing.

Narration text: Why use it? I'll let this quote by a doctor who was originally using buckets of water (???) with patients explain. "Using analogies and/or metaphors...can help clinicians and patients' loved ones get a better understanding of the impact of specific activities on a patient." (John Hopkins Neurologist Scott Newsome, DO, on the topic of "Spoon Theory")]

[Image 5 Description: The Interneter is looking worried, sweating. He says to Rachel,

"Oh wait, so I have major depression disorder, insomnia, and ADHD. During my last episode, I was barely able to make it to one class a day, and maybe get one meal. My insomnia felt uncontrollable. I ran out of mental brain power for my classes, but I still attempted as much class work as I could, even if my brain couldn't fully show up. Don't get me wrong- I still tried, so hard. Even if I was too depressed to feel things like 'normal' I still wanted to be embracing my college life. I feel like spoon theory would have really helped me in times like those. Especially since I haven't found an antidepressant that works on me yet. I know it's not like what you go through, like chronic physical illness. I wouldn't want to make less of your experience or appropriate this term. I'm just wondering if-"

 Rachel, looking calm, finding The Interneter endearing and smiling slightly, "Your experiences are just as valid and the level of impact your depression has absolutely qualifies you as a spoonie."]

[Image 6 Description: Narration text  "Today  a spoonie is someone with a condition that causes limited amounts of physical and/or cognitive energy, such as chronic illness, mental illness, or disability. It's also used by neurodivergents who deal with persistent energy limitations."

Below sits 4 girls all smiling, waving, and looking at us, left to right; The first girl has an average frame, tan skin, long navy blue hair, a maroon hat, faded pink pants, a blue/purple/lavender striped shirt, and cutting scar on her arms. Second girl is Kitt, she was in another comic, she has a plus sized frame, dark brown skin, shoulder length curly/dark brown hair. she wears a teal dress with white strips, a waist long blue jacket, blue shoes, her left left is a purple prosthetic. Third girl, she is Asian, very light but still tan skin, with black hair in cut in a pixie style. She has on a white sweat shirt that has lavender sleeves and a salmon color at the bottom, in the center is the rainbow infinity sign for neurodivergence. She has on mint pants and wear white and salmon colored sneakers. On the floor below them sits Rachel. 

Narrative text "Not all of us are literally measuring out energy in terms of spoons, but having such a metaphor is extremely helpful."]

[Image 7 Description: Narrative text "Spoon Theory embraces acknowledgment of a condition's control, which is weirdly liberating because this reminds a person:"

Girl number 3 is on the right is whispering to The Interneter "Lack of control isn't proof of personal weakness. You don't have to beat yourself up for experiencing your condition." 

"I know that. . ." the interneter says shyly, blushing and smiling.

"Do you though?" Rachel says from the left.

Below her is girl number one. "Do u? I've been doing this for 13 years and even I forget sometimes."]

[Image 8 Description: Narrative text "For young people in particular, spoonie is the first word a person may use when starting to rewrite what their life with their condition could look like."

The Interneter lays flat on his bed, we see him from the side looking hopeful "Having to live life this way isn't easy, but I want to make it work."

Below we see he is centered on his bed holding 1 spoon, "especially since I'm still having that episode of depression." On the right side his words continue "I didn't say anything because I was afraid of messing up the flow of the comic."]

[Image 9 Description: Narrative text "Spoons can be a silly thing to associate with possibly not having enough energy to manage basic survival activities, which is one reason some don't bother using the term at all. Still, it's easier to say,"

A woman, standing in the center of the image with a long purple dress, short brunette hair, and a purple walking cane, holds a hand to her chest smiling "I'm a spoonie!"

To her left is a large man all in red, hand on his hips smiling, "My own experiences of feeling tired helps me empathize with you. You make me feel validated."

To her right is a little girl colored pink "Spoons are good!"

Next to her is a woman in maroon "Such a cute and positive take!"

At the bottom of the image narrative text says "Rather than bring folk's moods down with-"]

[Image 10 description:  "My body is disabled! Living an existence with a condition that is unpredictable and invisible sometimes breaks my brain! Please don't shut me out until I'm "Fixed". Just respect my limits." Rachel says, now in the center of the people instead of the purple-dressed spoonie. She sits in her wheelchair with legs up, holding her arms out, her expression is crying yet smiling.

The large man to her left has his arms folded, now very uneasy "How do I tell apart your "disability" from excuses, self pity, and faking stuff? And who sits in a wheelchair like that?"

On the right the little pink girl is crying, her maroon mother bending down to hold her. "Isn't "Disabled" bad?" the girl ask.

Her mother responding "Nothing we need to worry about, sweetie. There are plenty of programs that think of the disabled so we don't have to."

Narrative text, "Yes. Spoonie can at times feel detached just enough from harsh reality to ease people's discomforts."] 

[Image 11 Description: Narrative text:” Perhaps detached enough for misguided normies to think,”

A young woman standing in the center with one hand on her hip and one raised with her index finger pointed upwards says "Hey! I feel like I have limited energy to! I like this "spoons" idea. It will help me be mindful and proactive with my energy! I'm a spoonie now!"

She is white woman with tanned skin, long bleach blonde hair in a pony-tail, wearing grey yoga pants and a green tang top.  On her tang top are the words "Has no condition is just human".  

To her left Girl number 3, Kitt, and Rachel are huddled looking at the woman. “Don't-” says girl number 3. "Oh no, wait-" says Kitt. "You're not one now, but hey, you'll be one of us eventually. No need to rush." says Rachel.

On the left is a young hipster male all in orange "You're just a product of obsessive online health trends." He calls out. 

Narrative text "Let's hope it doesn't turn into the 'snuggie' of disability lingo.]

[Image 12 description: Narrative Text: "Now, being disabled by a condition, especially it's fatigue aspect, doesn't mix well with the 'hyper-productive' narrative that today's society puts out." 

A Pinkish-maroon leg with the words 'society that doesn't fully realize the systemic harm of it's ableism' on it, kicks a stick figure of the Interneter high up into the air in a Team Rocket fashion.

 "Looks like having problems with my human body is causing me to be considered less of a human agaaiinn!!!" The interneter says, surrounded by anime sparkles. 

Narrative Text "Still, being active, productive, and accepted by some form of community, lay the foundations for self-confidence and a sense of worth. Contributing online is one way even the most debilitated amount us have managed a version of that foundation."]

[Image 13 Description: Narrative text: "Disabled communities are sources of support, love, guidance, and empowerment built upon collaboration, inclusion, and knowledge. They help bring together people with a willingness to listen, because they all know the value in feeling heard."

Two horizontal rows of a diverse group of people with disabilities, drawn to show them all in bed,  all interacting with each other like the would if the were together in person. Below each person is an awareness ribbon to indicate the condition(s)they have.

 From left to right, top row; A young woman with very dark brown skin, black hair in a bun, is looking concerned and reaching for a young man in the row below her. He is black with slightly lighter skin, very short hair, a 5 o'clock shadow, wearing glasses. He is reach towards her with is left arm, his right arm is curled due to his medical condition.  Next in the top row, a  Young woman with curly brown hair, tan skin, glasses, and cutting parts on her arms is smiling and being handed a book by a young white male with Downs-Syndrome, he hair short light brown hair and glasses.  A young woman with tan skin, glasses, wearing a hijab, has a pink prosthetic arm holding a piece of paper, and is using her other arm to hold hands with the person she is smiling/talking with- a thin non-binary with short blue pixie hair and braces on her elbows and right arm. This person is also holding a piece of paper, eyes shut from laughing, with happy tears coming from their eyes.

Bottom row; Next to the young man with dark skin, is a plus-sized woman with white skin, her hair is deep violet in a pixie cut. She is holding a yellow ribbon, looking concerned and speaking a "?" as she taps the should of the girl next to her. This girl is Asian with black hair in a short ponytail, she looks back at the woman with the ribbon, her arms are on the back of the next woman, whom she is comforting. This woman has medium dark skin, half her head is shaved, the other is short navy blue dreadlocks. She is curled up and crying, below her is a yellow ribbon next to a purple one. The young man on her left has his left arm around her, and has a sympathetic expression, talking with the woman to try and provide comforting. He has tan skin and short curly brown hair, with short curly brown facial hair. 

Narrative text: "Spoonies are just one part of this collective, their efforts displaying that a condition's control isn't proof of weakness, as if can exist even along side massive amounts of inner strength."]